Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
