...so i touched it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
