Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
