Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
