"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
