Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
