whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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