I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
