What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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