I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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