Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
