i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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