Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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