good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
