Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
