I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
