Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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