why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
