Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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