pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
