I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
