Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
