Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
