wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
