Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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