So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
