It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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