I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
