hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I've blown a few things in my day
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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