Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
