I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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