I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
