so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
