well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
