when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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