Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
