i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
