Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
MIDGETS
????
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
