direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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