Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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