my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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