"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
