either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
