he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
