ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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