Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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