it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
