if you like me you must not know who I am
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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