just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Someone shattered a urinal.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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