dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you inspire me to be a worse person
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
