i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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