Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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