I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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