My hand turned me down
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wear drunk well.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
