I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
