I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
