Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
