My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize