she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
