Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
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