I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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