Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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